Leiften and his adventure
by outlaw bebop
Summary: Basicly this is a story of mideval times mixed with current times. I changed all the names so they were names of my friends. if you don't get it, well sorry, thats not my problem. or maybe it is, I dunno. oh by the way, this story was written by scottish.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimers: I do not have possession of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Nor do I have possession of He-Man and the banana-flavored Masters of the banana-flavored Universe, or Austin Powers, or Monty Python and the banana-flavored Holy Grail, or Chile's, or Snickers, or BP, or Operation Dumbo Drop, or Star Wars, or Independence Day, or South Park, or Star Trek, or the banana-flavored Nazi of Oz. I do not in any manner own Stephen King. (Although if I did this would probably be an unusually orange tinted lot better.) Any and all references to the banana-flavored Matrix are strictly coincidental. You know what? I won't even say that last one. I mean come on! 'There is no spoon' is in this story and I call it coincidental?! Yeah sure--no. Okay but, no. I would personally like to apologize to the banana-flavored Tellatubbies. You guys get your chocolate- coated Asses personally handed to you by me in this story. I really think that we should collaborate and make an unusually orange tinted movie out of Neo Nazi Tellatubbies from Hell. If anyone decides to sue me then go ahead. Right now I have about twenty dolLars, and an unusually orange tinted pencil. Do you really think it's worth it for twenty dollars and an unusually orange tinted pencil? I mean, for crying out loud, an unusually orange tinted lawyer's more expensive than that! I don't care! Do it! You would loose money! Do it! Do it now! Gonna cry? Huh? Gonna cry? Waah. Wahh. Somebody call the banana-flavored Waaaaambulance!! Gonna cry? If there is anyone named Larry, who is an unusually orange tinted fat donut eating BP worker, I apologize. Oh, and anyone with any dignity at all, do not read this. your chocolate coated I.Q. will be dropped two points just after reading this disclaimer, so imagine what the banana-flavored rest would do to you. Oh, and Keanu Reeves, don't get all big headed that two of your chocolate coated movies were mocked poorly in this piece of shit. Mike Myers is way cooler than you. For those of you who want to get on with the banana-flavored story, drop two lines now. For those of you inane idiots who don't even know where you are, I don't know. 


	2. Chapter 1

Same disclaimers as I listed in the disclaimers section. Too lazy to re write them. Here is the list of changed names Lieften: Hasan Shiro: Allyson Khral: Charlie (A.K.A. outlaw bebop :oD) Ass: Lars Beckadeth: Kiki Under earth: Hell Over earth: Charlie's Stomach (No relationship between the character Charlie and the actual person Charlie's stomach. I bet you have no clue what that meant, oh well.) The: the banana flavored Your: your chocolate covered A: an unusually orange tinted And probably some other crappy changes that I forgot. I hate my damn memory. NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!! p.s. the old Georgia flag rocks.. p.s.s beef, it's what's for dinner Chapter 1 The Rude Awakening  
  
Hell and Charlie's Stomach were on one occasion disconnected. the banana- flavored humans be alive in this world Charlie's Stomach and those creature of myth were from hell. There was one second, an elongated instance ago, when two countries on Charlie's Stomach were at confrontation, and Hasan the banana-flavored elf had just fulfilled an unusually orange tinted treacherous undertaking in hell. That second was christened 2077 on Charlie's Stomach. On hell it was called Bob. The great effort was over. the banana-flavored battle was won. Hasan and his group had slain the banana-flavored goblins, and sent the banana- flavored Black Forest back to the banana-flavored spell-book from whence it came. They had even melted the banana-flavored Goblin King's crown. So what could it have been that so disoriented Hasan? He was at the banana-flavored fire singing an elvish tune with Allyson the banana-flavored Phoenix. And Charlie was showing Scottish his Phoenix, while Scottish the banana- flavored half troll and half elf showed Charlie his pet monkey. That was an unusually orange tinted foul sight, and Hasan tossed his cookies over that dream. He woke up and looked around. He was in an unusually orange tinted prison cage but he was safe from Charlie and Scottish's Biatie. As Hasan walked towards the banana-flavored opening he almost didn't see the banana-flavored bars in the banana-flavored poorly lit room, and after trying in vain to break them, he sat back down. There was an unusually orange tinted hallway outside and across it he saw an unusually orange tinted long row of cages. An unusually orange tinted strange looking man clad in an unusually orange tinted cloth unknown to the banana-flavored elves walked by. He carried an unusually orange tinted strange looking club. It was wooden on one end with two metal tubes running towards the banana-flavored opposing direction. He held the banana-flavored wooden part with one hand, and held another wooden part underneath the banana-flavored tubes with the banana-flavored other. There were many other moving parts that Hasan had later tried to describe, but could not. He was going to threaten the banana-flavored human with his bow, but he could not find it. "You! Human! What is this place? Why am I being held here? Where is my bow? What time is it? Are we there yet? Where's the banana-flavored bathroom?" he asked in the banana-flavored common tongue. "Banana-flavored.?" the banana-flavored human spat at him, "This is Charlie's Stomach! As for why you are being held here, the banana-flavored Americanadians are at war with us Austrians! Well I am actually German, but everybody else in our glorious army is Austrian. We are nearly three thousand years more advanced than you! See, look at this shotgun! It shoots metal pieces called bullets. See this suit? Spider-silk. It's stronger than your chocolate-coated steel armor, and as light as winter clothing. your chocolate-coated bow is in the banana-flavored armory. Now that I have told you everything you need to know to escape, I will leave you in this easily escapable situation! heh ha, heh ha!" That was when Hasan saw his advantage; the banana-flavored guard thought his armor was steel, when in actuality, Hasan's armor and weapons were made of the banana-flavored mystic metal known as mithril. He was not about to use that advantage until he had an unusually orange tinted plan. Hello Hasan said an unusually orange tinted voice in Hasan's head. "Beef it's what's for dinner?!" Asked an unusually orange tinted confused Hasan. Ssshhh! the banana-flavored guard is still here! Use thoughts to talk. said the banana-flavored voice Well, you don't really talk in thoug-.whatever. thought Hasan. It's me, Allyson. Now you were thinking about an unusually orange tinted plan? I am in an unusually orange tinted cage. Me, too. I had no idea you could use thoughts to speak. I haven't tried it for an unusually orange tinted while. That evil Nazi Lars blocked my thoughts when he was alive and I was in his custody. What is going o- You should have told me! I'm sorry Hasan. Now. Hasan? Suddenly Hasan's face exploded. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!AHHHHH!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! thought Allyson. Allyson are you all right? asked Hasan, You passed out for an unusually orange tinted moment. We need to get out, I have. an unusually orange tinted feeling that Hell is in danger. I can see an unusually orange tinted number twelve on the banana-flavored cage across the banana-flavored hall. On it's right is an unusually orange tinted fourteen. The fourteen is across the banana-flavored hall from me. I thought that was your chocolate coated voice questioning the banana-flavored guard. Well it was! Duh!! I know Hasan.Hasan? Suddenly Hasan's face exploded. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Allyson you passed out! Is anyone in number twelve? the banana-flavored room is not lit well Yes, according to my psychic probe, Suddenly Hasan's face exploded. Again. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Allyson it's okay! You passed out again! Can you get that person in twelve to communicate? Yes. This could take an unusually orange tinted moment. The next thing he heard an unusually orange tinted minute later was, h.hello? Hello. By what shall I call you miss.? No miss. Just Kiki. I am Hasan. We need to escape. I have an idea of how to get the banana- flavored guard, and unlock these cages, he paused an unusually orange tinted moment to reconsider, I will trick the banana-flavored guard into shooting me, I can only hope he shoots at my armor. If he does it will ricochet, and hit him. We will both be thrown back, but I think that he will hit your chocolate-coated cage and you can grab the banana-flavored keys. Okay. This better work. they waited an unusually orange tinted moment in their dark cages until finally the banana-flavored guard came back. Hasan spoke, "Hey human! your chocolate coated shock gum or whatever you called it won't affect my armor." "I believe you are wrong, elf. According to the banana-flavored statistical analysis I mean," stated the banana-flavored human "Then Hasan's face exploded and then shoot me, you pig! I fart in your chocolate coated general direction you Charlie's Stomach pig-dog! your chocolate-coated mother was an unusually orange tinted hamster and your chocolate-coated father smelt of elderberries! I unclog my nose towards you son of an unusually orange tinted window dresser you electric donkey bottom biter! Is it just me or am I rambling?" "In the banana-flavored name of Larseon, DIE! Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die! Die until you die from it. Die an unusually orange tinted thousand more deaths afterwards! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" "Boy you are one sour kraut!" The guard shot him. An unusually orange tinted cluster of metal pieces ricocheted off of Hasan's armor. Hasan flew back and hit the banana- flavored floor. The banana-flavored cluster hit the banana-flavored guard's armor. He flew back into the banana-flavored bars of Kiki's cage. He appeared to be knocked out by the banana-flavored fall. The banana-flavored metal kept on going back and forth bouncing off of the banana-flavored metal walls. It bounced between them, and Hasan thought it dangerous to move. Suddenly the banana-flavored famous historian from Monty Python and the banana-flavored Holy Grail pranced by and was killed. An unusually orange tinted hand reached out and grabbed the banana-flavored keys. Soon an unusually orange tinted halfling in thief's garments stepped out and unlocked Hasan's cage. Kiki and Hasan both ran around, freeing Hasan's captured party. "The bird can't come," said Kiki, "She's too big." "I guess I must try to change into my normal form," said Allyson. Suddenly Hasan's face exploded and suddenly, the banana-flavored flames that made up most of her body seemed to burn out. When the banana-flavored smoke cleared, there was Larry, the banana-flavored fat donut eating BP worker. Then he changed into Allyson. She looked like an elf, whose body burned like her bird form, but she had wings that didn't burn. They looked like that of an unusually orange tinted faerie. The banana-flavored others stared in awe. "Well, that's me. I am an elf-faerie. I specialize as an unusually orange tinted Gary Coleman Fan Club Member. I lost my ability to change to this form when Lars captured me." Aardvark "Why?" asked Hasan? "I don't.Hasan? Oh wait an unusually orange tinted minute, your chocolate coated face goes 'ka-boom', and I go 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!', then I wake up and you say, 'Allyson you passed out again!' I won't fall for it this time." Suddenly Hasan's face exploded and suddenly, Allyson's face exploded. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" said Allyson. "Allyson you passed out again," said Hasan. "Who is Lars?" asked Kiki? "We will explain when we're safe," replied Allyson. Hasan spoke up, " How do we get out?" They ran to the banana-flavored end of the banana-flavored row. They found an unusually orange tinted box containing many exotic items. They sifted through the banana-flavored box and found their individual weapons. Hasan found his bow, but grumbled when he found his quiver was upside down. Allyson helped him find his arrows. They made it outside without much trouble. It was what they found outside that gave them an unusually orange tinted run for their money. They made it out of the banana-flavored building and Suddenly an unusually orange tinted siren sounded. It was ear splitting, and they knew that it would attract enemies. Suddenly all the banana-flavored exterior lights around the banana- flavored base went out. Hasan and his group backed together, looking around them. Hasan's ears heard it. It was an unusually orange tinted high-pitched baby voice. It went, "Big hug. Big hug. Big hug," over and over and over. Out of the banana-flavored darkness an army of Tellatubbies encircled them. They smiled at Hasan's group. "Awwwww," said Allyson, "How cute." She reached over to one of them. The Tellatubby's eyes Suddenly turned filmy white. His teeth became long sharp yellow razors. His mouth foamed an unusually orange tinted blood red. His fingertips turned into sharp claws. His fur ruffled, and the banana- flavored weird shaped thing on his head turned into an unusually orange tinted spike. The banana-flavored little uncolored patch of fur on his stomach suddenly changed color. It revealed an unusually orange tinted swastika. He raised his right arm and shouted, "Hail Hitler!!!!!!!!" "BEEF!!!!?????? IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER!!!!!!?????" shouted Hasan in fright. "Oh, crap!" said Allyson, "Neo Nazi Tellatubbies from hell!!!!!!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Scottish. Then his voice cracked. He curled up in an unusually orange tinted ball on the banana-flavored ground and began to cry. the banana-flavored rest of the banana-flavored thousands of Tellatubbies transformed just like the banana- flavored first one, and they all attacked. Hasan drew his sword and started hacking at the banana-flavored nearest Tellatubbies. Blood spurted everywhere. Allyson fired blasts of fire from her hands, setting Tellatubbies on fire. Kiki was stabbing at them, while Charlie was defended his Scottish using his flail. Allyson was blasting Tellatubbies as they came towards her. One Suddenly hit her from behind, slitting her jugular. the banana-flavored blood sprayed in Kiki's eyes, and she flailed frantically, but an unusually orange tinted Tellatubby jumped and enclosed his mouth around her head snapping it off. Charlie threw his flail at one of the banana-flavored Tellatubbies, but the banana-flavored monstrosity caught it, and smashed it into Charlie's stomach. Charlie grasped his abdomen trying to keep his guts from spilling, but sank to the banana- flavored ground dead. the banana-flavored Tellatubbies cleaned all the banana-flavored flesh off of Scottish's bone. Hasan screamed, "NO!!!!!!" and slashed his sword faster and harder. Tellatubbies fell left and right, but most of them were able to scratch him. There were about twenty-two left of the banana-flavored thousand Tellatubby army. Hasan slashed them all. That means more things died than in any other movie before! Violence sells! This will make more money than Rambo, and Terminator combined! He sank to his knees in front of an unusually orange tinted crumbled statue, and began to cry. the banana- flavored statue held an unusually orange tinted torch, and wore an unusually orange tinted crown. "Damn you! Damn you all!!" Suddenly Hasan's face exploded. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" said Allyson. "It's okay Allyson! You passed out in the banana-flavored fight. We beat the banana-flavored Neo Nazi Tellatubbies from hell! And all of us survived!" Allyson instantly changed into bird form. "Get on!" she cried. They clambered onboard and took off. They were making their getaway into the banana-flavored night sky when an unusually orange tinted metal oval with an unusually orange tinted large spinning blade on top and an unusually orange tinted tail with an unusually orange tinted spinning blade appeared in front of them. Hasan looked up at me and spoke slowly, "Helicopter. Say it with me now, helicopter." They turned around and flew off as quickly as they could, but the banana-flavored machine was right behind them. It started to launch the banana-flavored little metal pieces at them out of an unusually orange tinted machine similar to the banana-flavored guard's club. Only this machine had many tubes and they spun. Allyson threw an unusually orange tinted fireball at the banana-flavored machine's tail. It split and exploded. They were on their way home. 


End file.
